"Stressed for the best, like a test in the west.. (????)"
5:40 p.m. & 2004-01-18

I am so beyond stressed out. I hate being here. And then they wonder why i wanna go out of town for college. All day, all ive done is fill out papers, search for papers, look for crap, sign things...apply to diffrent colleges and universitys. STupid father guy wont give me the addmission fee for the colleges i wanna goto. Its $35 for Sam Houston State, $50 for A&M college Station, and $15 for A&M kingsville. He wants me to apply to TAMIU and LCC. *GRRR* what the hell doesnt he understand. Im not him...hes like.."Apply to UT Austin, apply to UTSA, apply to blahblahblah" DAMMIT! this isnt his future!! its mine!!! All he has to do is sign the freaking addmission fee check. *breathe...im almost 18* Ive tryed to chill out, but joe keeps f'in with my head and I cannot be sane in this house. I told myself i would relax today..cuz tommarrow i had to study for the big Eco test in 4th block. Amy molina told me Blink was on Loaded again. *tear* it was a sign i needed to re-energize myself. I dubbed today, Vanessa's recovery day to watch Blink182 crap all day. So i put the 1st Urethea Chronicles on...i started to remember who had given me most of my cherished Blink things..and i started to smile...i remembered the beginnings of everything. I then watched the Urethea Chronicles II, then New Found Glory- The Story So Far, and then the BoxCar Racer DVD, and then my tape of recorded Blink182 junk..ive been in my pajamas all day..mostly stuck on this computer while people bitched and moaned about my future. I dont want anymore yapping of any sort..it finally quieted down in here, my dads asleep, and my mom and brother are gone. I cant apply to places without some info...like ACT scores and the date i took it..and i also had to type up my Band honors and enrollment as well as other extracuricular activities and honors...but lets face it..i was a band loser my whole middle and high school life. Then i had to type out all my community service hours, half of which i dont have and cant remember, so im pretty screwed till i can get to Nixon and ask for my community involvement. That includes, food bank, adopt-a-highway, Relay for Life, and everything else i did.

<----You like my pretty Picture? I took it when my younger cousin took me and my little brother to the beach. Its the Gulf of Mexico, and its pretty dirty, cuz its the outlet of where the Mississipi river feeds into the Gulf. :S thats everyones wastes from like the start of the River all the way down..thats a little gross.. anyways..the sunset was pretty..i couldnt help but think of only one person when i was out there...take a wild guess...but yea...never-the-less..it was pretty.

Below...thats the pretty fogginess of Houston. we stopped on the way home..i missed the big buildings and high amount of pollution in the air..but still..it felt like home..i guess i still miss the big city..

then || now

Miss Anything?

lost in space - 2005-06-12
look what happens when your happy. - 2005-01-29
everydrawing that i drew was never ever true to you - 2004-12-26
New Home - 2004-08-25
rip carter - 2004-08-16