"When it rains, it pours."
6:30 p.m. & 2004-02-07

Out of sheer and utter heartbreak, i thought by locking this up, it would help any. Since when did I, vanessa, ever care what people thought. *haha* i know what your thinking! Well, its not going to matter. At least people will be able to see whats going on inside my head, or try to. I doubt any of this is anything to anyone, but since it did become an issue...maybe i should just throw everything out on the table and show the world EVERYHING about me...am i really ready to do this again? i can only wonder. My current desicions are to not lock my diary and maybe update a little more than usual...but of course, i dont think it will be of much intrest to anyone.

I got a haircut yesterday. I had been wanting one for a while now and my split ends had split ends. Its one of the most relaxing things in the world. i was soo *ugh* agrivated at people and things. #1 would have had to have been the music teacher at magnet. MY GOD! shes freakin nutz. She wants us to learn all this crap, and scales and yea. i swear, ive never wanted to drop music as much as i did on Friday. For her sake ill just not open my mouth to her...i feel bad when i talk back to her and even worse when i say it in a "tone". Yea, i dunno whats been up with certain people lately. They have obviously moved on to bigger and better things. Should i care....maybe i care a little...Maybe cuz i miss them. What about my mini-person. Shes out and about doing the same thing...enjoying the guilty pleasures of being -*profanity* nevermind. I dont think i should curse as much as i do anymore. i have a real bad potty mouth, and im starting to realize that its not as healthy as it sounds. Solo and Ensemble was today. I wouldve been happy if i had fulfilled some sort of goal...unfourtunatly i didnt set any..so basically everything was just given to me, and it didnt really excite me as much as i would've liked. I got a 1 on my solo after the judge was all mean to me to my face. He said for me to just refer to the score because he had "dirtyed up" my paper already..*sigh* thats exactly what i wanted to hear ya know..I also got a one on my ensemble which was the the all-famous clarinet choir. *wee* The saddest part of today was remembering the last time i was ina room with that many instruments waiting for "results" was AREA...that was a real killer for me. There are some people out there who are REALLY starting to bug the hell out of me...besides my mom. *ERR* Yea..im gonna kill tweety bird. It wont shut up and its pissing me off. I have alotta homework for monday. ok, ya know what..i feel like writing on paper...ill just do this later.

*Tidal Waves they Rip right through me, tears from eyes worn cold and sad; lift me up now i need you so bad...*

-Nessa

then || now

Miss Anything?

lost in space - 2005-06-12
look what happens when your happy. - 2005-01-29
everydrawing that i drew was never ever true to you - 2004-12-26
New Home - 2004-08-25
rip carter - 2004-08-16