"Mad world"
8:06 p.m. & 2004-06-08

I watched Donnie Darko about 4 times today. Yes, i *heart* Jake Gyllinhaal, hes a sexy beast! I am in love with that movie...yes..it has just made a spot on my top movies list. OMG! *haha*..yeayeayea...i know...i believe it ranks #1 so far of the most awsome-ist movies ever...well...of all of them that i think are incredibly awsome. See...i only have a certain number of FAVORITE movies of all time. See..Contact was an incredibly awsome movie...Donnie Darko was an incredibly awsome movie...and Identity was an incredibly awsome movie...are you getting all of this. *haha* but if you are some one who has been keeping up with diarys, then you should know that yesterday was a very special diaryland day. Even more special than Movies stupid guys Blink182 and shtuff...it was my yearly anniversary. June 7 is the day i started myself in this place called diaryland. a place to speake my mind, to let everyone know EXACTLY what i wanted to let eveyone know...how i feel when im not talking...just thinking. This place has been home, an area of sanctity where i can calm down, relax and release some of the most stupid irrational feared problems i have in my daily life. Reading through and through this...i see my life...literally flash by. I see myself going through so many new experiances everyday...and diaryland has been here for me. Or maybe i have been here for diaryland. Nevertheless...my last few years of life have been recorded on this thing...and ive been through soooo much since the last year. Its been a storybook life ....love, romance, heartbreak, betrayl, envy, jelousy, hate...

all i need now is for someone to die. A new beginning to the perfect end, huh?! Sounds like my book is almost complete...but who will die? who will be the murderer? well...this is one ending that will surprise us all... I bet your curious as to what the hell im thinking.. well i wont be the first one to tell anyone of you this, but...curiousity killed the kat! Ive come to realize so much over the past couple of weeks...admitting anything now, would mean that i would have to accept that everything in the past was a big lie. That everything i ever felt shouldnt, couldnt, and wasnt real. Played for a fool...i cant trust anyone...this is all i hope for anyone with the slightest hint of knowledge... That you live everyday to its fullest...and dont let life pass you by. Dont let ppl screw you over..and if you feel something is right...or wrong, go with your feeling..because you never know what might come out of it. That very decision could change the whole very existence of your future.. Tommarrow will commemorate a fully and utterly painful day for me. The day i decided to lose my best friend forever...because naturally...thats where this all began...and its where it all will end. A deepest darkest moment of silence will be heard tommarrow...deep from within my own selfconcious...see all of this...see how torn and friggid ive become, a prisoner in my own eyes...

but its all over now, cuz thats how the world works...theres no time to think about other ppl..its all about you, and you know who you are...Live in your glory...live in your "love"...live in all your glory..i hope your happy...live..just live...while i...

~*&Vanessa

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, Worn out faces

Bright and early for the daily races

Going nowhere, Going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, No expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows

No tomorrow, No tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad

These dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

When people run in circles its a very very

Mad World, Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday

And they feel the way that every child should

Sit and listen, Sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous

No one knew me, No one knew me

Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson

Look right through me, Look right through me

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

When people run in circles it's a very very

Mad World, Mad World

Enlargen your world

Mad World

then || now

Miss Anything?

lost in space - 2005-06-12
look what happens when your happy. - 2005-01-29
everydrawing that i drew was never ever true to you - 2004-12-26
New Home - 2004-08-25
rip carter - 2004-08-16