"hand guns and second chances"
2:57 a.m. & 2004-06-12

When will this all stop..when did it all start.

I know how to make it stop..at least stop in my head...it requires a very sharp bladed object...and my arm. OH but ive somehow turned it into a sport...of some sort..its become fun..really *teary eyed* the voices say it'll all be over soon anyways...they're my friends...well..maybe not..seeing as how i dont know what a friend is...maybe the voices are just aquaintences? God only knows...

shit...i knew it..i knew it! The stupid feelings and coincidences are coming back...make them go away..this is the LAST thing i want right now..

Soooo..hows your summer..Mines been just peachy...fine and dandy ya know..full of wishful thinking..hopelessness, knives and pills. One of these days im gonna goto sleep normally...really..but, trucker pills are fun..not to mention i can type 5 times faster than normally.

Theyre not illegal..AND..hey..have you ever taken one of those things plus some extra strength Nyquil tablets...haha...its like the meds are contradicting themselves in my body..its wayy freaky...i blame the ability to not have anyone to talk to me outta it. its ok though...cuz once college starts my body will be used to the pills and yea...it wont be akward.

i drank a soda today..well...part of one..a sprite..so im not gonna eat tommarrow...at all..maybe ill go jogging in the morning..yea...badness...badbadbad...my hair looks...odd...im thinking black again..its one of those moods...or maybe blue streaks...they'll turn purple cuz my hairs already pinkish reddish...yep...dunno..i just needa go buy more hair dye...maybe blue...really..whatever floats my boat ya know.

"cheers to you, and what youve done to me"

count your lucky stars,

Vanessa

then || now

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