"It takes one year to forget the last."
4:06 p.m. & 2004-06-19

I guess in this case.. ill have to move on to college and live my life there to forget all the hurtful things that ppl have done to me in the past. Go figure. When i had those fake nail thingys, my nails underneath were able to grow...out of a random act of stupidity i pulled out a mini-disc, hoping to relenquish the hurting inside to a mere trickle...nah, it opened a floodgate of emotion. Maybe it was the parting line...

"You know i love you vanessa and i always will......(pause) i hope you know that, cuz....(pause) its true...have a merry christmas."

But then i had to reread a certain yearbook entry to make myself realize what a real friend would have done. HEY! i just forgot..i never got to brief you all on that..and since i had to pry the phone from my hands and not dial 724-2*** at 3 in the morning...i turned on my lights, wiped my face with my nipple monkey and read:

Vanessa,

Well as you know, ive never been good with words.They only come out good when made into spontanious blurbs. But ill try my hardest to put what i want to say in such a limited amount of space. As the years have gone by, weve experianced a lot together. I know you kinda ripped on me a bit...(and just for my defence, if you ever thought that ive lied to you, which i dont recall, i most likely did it for the better. Whether or not that sounds dumb or a lie in itself, it isnt)...on my yearbook, but i just want to say one thing, and then ill drop it. Sometimes, not all the times, but sometimes, your just a wishful thinker with the worst intentions, and it makes you bitter when things dont go your way. Remember vanessa, things dont always go as promised. Try to keep that in mind when things arent going so well. They will get better, but you have to be patient. Im trying to say this in the nicest way possible. Smile Vanessa, please, for once, a real one. Smile when things dont go as planned, or when you feel alone, or what have you. Try and keep your head strieght when you go out to college station. Its gonna be a bitch when you try and do this stuff by yourself., but you become more noble for it. I bet you felt good after you finished your MAP. A lot of shitwork, right?! Well thats how its gonna be from now on, except your not gonna have anyone to...help you. You should be grateful for all that anyone has ever done for you. I saw that bad essay Lauro was typing out for Trevino's class, whether you actually put effort, or whether you halfassed it, you cant be doing that shit. You're not gonna make it. Be thankful for any help. Diana played a major role in getting you into TAMU. Thank Lauro too for helping you out. Also dont lie on Apps. You know what im talking about. It just takes away what little dignity and pride you're left with. Lie, cheat, steal, or kill huh? Well your 3 for 4. Im prolly gonna end up the one you kill. Regaurdless of all this bad stuff im talking about, just remember who your real friends are, If you cant distiguish between aqauintences and friends then you have a long way to go my friend. Remember who always listens and will be your shoulder to cry on. Not someone to whine to, someone to cry to. Remember Im always here and i still care about you. If you ever need me ill be here. "asshole" or not, ill be here, but also, just for me, and for good measure, calm down, relax, dont scream, and just sit and listen. I guess after all these years im still bad with words. I want to wish you luck on all your future endevours. Be Happy.

Love,

Andy

what a fucking load of bullshit. ive gotta go cry..that was more than pathetic and definately a new low for him. Ill explain all the lies and untold secrets, and fucking everything else later...im gonna go for a drive.

-vanessa

then || now

Miss Anything?

lost in space - 2005-06-12
look what happens when your happy. - 2005-01-29
everydrawing that i drew was never ever true to you - 2004-12-26
New Home - 2004-08-25
rip carter - 2004-08-16