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[DESIGN]
"transcribe the lies beneath your words"
10:02 p.m. & 2004-06-19
~amen~
[Vanessa,
Well as you know, ive never been good with words.They only come out good when made into spontanious blurbs. But ill try my hardest to put what i want to say in such a limited amount of space.]
Well heres how this intro works. Hes gonna say, that basically anything he has to say in this whole entire "goodbye" is not his fault..that he is merely the victim of circumstance. hahaha...and if i believed that he chose to sum up the last 2 months in my damn senior yearbook as oposed to the last 4 years.. because he cared...kill me.
[As the years have gone by, weve experianced a lot together.]
WOW!! too bad hes not gonna talk about anything from those years...just the last God Damn 2 months.
[I know you kinda ripped on me a bit...]
and i did! but then i said sorry for it...and then told him how much i cared about him...
[(and just for my defence, if you ever thought that ive lied to you, which i dont recall, i most likely did it for the better. Whether or not that sounds dumb or a lie in itself, it isnt)]
Heres a good one!!! Ok...weve been best friends fo'evah..and yet..one night, actually..in particular the night he asked tali to go out..he had his little white chevy truck...you know..the one that his mom and stepdad hardly trust him with..well..i would really like to know...why even after we started talking again, he would refer to that "bump" as his stepdad's mistake, when IN FACT, he did it. that was the stupidest lie in the world..and too dumb to lie to me about it. SoOoOoO..therefore, the statement about him not lieing and it being dumb if i thought he was lieing...is false. he lied.
[...on my yearbook, but i just want to say one thing, and then ill drop it. Sometimes, not all the times, but sometimes, your just a wishful thinker with the worst intentions,]
WAIT WAIT WAIT...*hahahaha* *dies laughing*..i gotta stop here and say this. "*baby talks* was someone being a little emo boy that day!?!?" (Taking Back Sunday- Your so last summer= She said, Don't...don't let it go to your head.
Boys like you are a dime a dozen,
Boys like you are a dime a dozen.
She said...You're a touch over-rated.
You're a lush, and I hate it.
But these grass stains on my knees,
They won't mean a thing
[Chorus]
And all I need to know is that I'm something you'll be missin'
Well, maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that far
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that..
I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to, I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to, I'll do what I got to
The truth...is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt
[Chorus]
Cuz I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
This'll be the last chance you'll get to drop my name
Cuz I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
This'll be the last time you'll get to drop my name
If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar
If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar
If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar
If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar
Maybe I should hate you for this
Maybe I should hate you for this= *HAHAHAHAHA* SHUUUUUT the fuuuuuck up!
[and it makes you bitter when things dont go your way. Remember vanessa, things dont always go as promised.]
NOnono...things that he promise dont always go that way...and no shit sherlock...all people are bitter when things dont go their way...remember area last year?!..and yea..it IS my turn to rip you at the seams
[Try to keep that in mind when things arent going so well. They will get better, but you have to be patient.]
HOLY fucking yes! of course im gonna think of you when things suck...HE IS the reason..
[Im trying to say this in the nicest way possible.]
i see the niceness of it all..i really do..*note the sarcasm*
[Smile Vanessa, please, for once, a real one. Smile when things dont go as planned, or when you feel alone, or what have you.]
THIS ONE IS TOO FUCKING GOOD TOO! *dies laughing* First he tells me to smile for real...then he tells me to smile when things dont go my way...you mean...fake-smile to the world or what?! Its not wrong to show emotion..maybe that was his problem?!
[Try and keep your head strieght when you go out to college station. Its gonna be a bitch when you try and do this stuff by yourself. but you become more noble for it.]
wait...IM more qualified to go out into this world alone than he is...of courrrrrrse its gonna be a bitch..but you know what..WITHOUT him..there will be less things to worry about..
[I bet you felt good after you finished your MAP. A lot of shitwork, right?! Well thats how its gonna be from now on, except your not gonna have anyone to...help you.]
HELP ME!? WHO THE FUCK HELPED ME! this coming from the guy who never even had a set topic for it. The guy who ended up with a 50 in his final exam music class...mind you..this is the guy whose going into music as a profession..why the hell is he telling me that it was a "shitload" of work..when he never started on the damn thing.
[You should be grateful for all that anyone has ever done for you. I saw that bad essay Lauro was typing out for Trevino's class, whether you actually put effort, or whether you halfassed it, you cant be doing that shit.]
why is he talking about an essay in my yearbook!? do we have nothing BETTER to say or what?!
[You're not gonna make it.]
$5 says i make it before him.
[Be thankful for any help. Diana played a major role in getting you into TAMU.]
...yea...she did help...but she wasnt the MAJOR reason i got it...come on..
[Thank Lauro too for helping you out.]
Fuck me silly and call me sally...hes the one that should thank ME and gino for pulling his weight on all those "team" projects...and believe me..there was more than one sweetheart.
[Also dont lie on Apps. You know what im talking about.]
why not...you did...
[It just takes away what little dignity and pride you're left with.]
[no, my friend,...you took that from me a lonnnng time ago.
[Lie, cheat, steal, or kill huh? Well your 3 for 4. Im prolly gonna end up the one you kill.]
lie yes, cheat..yea..steal..probably..*oh shit..* we're not talking about you!?..cuz i know you lie...and i KNOW you cheat...i was there..steal...knowing you already..no, i dont know you...kill..*hahaha*
[Regaurdless of all this bad stuff im talking about, just remember who your real friends are, If you cant distiguish between aqauintences and friends then you have a long way to go my friend.]
well, my friend, this coming from you is a bit shaky huh, i mean, didnt you befriend every girl that threw themself at you? Not to mention you calling me a friend there..i mean, a real friend would NOT write this in a yearbook.
[Remember who always listens and will be your shoulder to cry on. Not someone to whine to, someone to cry to.]
WHY ON EARTH WOULD I GO BACK to that...to all the problems, I created for myself...right?! fuck it..as hugo would say.
[Remember Im always here and i still care about you.]
OF COURSE YOU ARE...hahahaha...and its shit like that..that put me where i am today..fucking false hope and me being your mutherfucking back up to whatever little freshman wont go and *maximum use of profanity*. im sorry sweety...but life doesnt work that way.
[If you ever need me ill be here. "asshole" or not, ill be here, but also, just for me, and for good measure, calm down, relax, dont scream, and just sit and listen.]
i can do all that...and you will be there, all asshole, but i dont think ill need you after reading this many upon MANY times.
[I guess after all these years im still bad with words.]
really...i thought it was nice...and i thought maybe "I" should apolagize to you..but nope.im not..cuz im right, and hes wrong..and he hurt me..and thats the point.
[I want to wish you luck on all your future endevours.]
as do i...
[Be Happy.]
yea...hahahaha..i sure will...now..
[Love,
Andy]
theres another lie...i thought you might'of had a max a day or something..guess not..
LOVE,
VANESSA
There's No 'I' In Team
by Taking Back Sunday
What I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
And if we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means
And I've got a twenty-dollar bill
that says you're up late night starting
fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor
Soaking in sympathy
from friends who never loved you
nearly half as much as me
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable
What I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
If we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means
You never knew
well i never told you...
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it's true
I've never done it with the style and grace you have
But I've made long term plans
based on these mistakes
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable
Is this what you call tact?
I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
so let's end this call,
and end this conversation
there's nothing worse...
(that's right he said, that's right he said it)
I swear, you have no idea
The jealousy that became me thinking
(that's right he said)
that you always had it way too easy
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friend thinks I pulled the trigger
Best friend thinks you get what you deserve
Miss Anything?
lost in space - 2005-06-12
look what happens when your happy. - 2005-01-29
everydrawing that i drew was never ever true to you - 2004-12-26
New Home - 2004-08-25
rip carter - 2004-08-16